Blog 27

Hypo manic is yet the theme of the day as it had been for a few days now! But I’m learning to slow down a bit. Now is this the quetiapine starting to work or am I doing it on my own? Am I on the right doseage? Of course I prefer the mania to the lows but it seems im manic most of the time with about 10 mins gap inbetween every few hours where I need to sit and relax and then I’m off again! I’ve cut the caffine out, I’m eating properly so it must be the quetiapine mustn’t it? But why is it swinging me towards mania rather than balancing my mood out? God. Listen to me. I’ve only been on 100mg for about 2 weeks and I expect all the answers pronto! I’m seeing my psychiatrist for the first time next Friday. Well the second time really. The first time was my initial diagnosis meeting. Is this feeling normal? If they up my doseage will my moods balance out? Again, so many questions but I need the answers now! In my head things are black and white most of the time. This will happen or that will happen etc. this limbo feeling is alien to me! I like the creativity and the euphoria feeling associated with my hyper mania but I’m worried about the crash! Will it happen? When will it happen? Aaaaaaahhhhhhh I’m driving myself nuts! My minds buzzing all the time and if it wasn’t for the trazodone I take at night with the quetiapine I would be up all night annoying myself with all the things I’m going to do now and in the future! I saw a cracking job on the net today and I would have applied for it if it wasn’t for my wife bringing me back to reality! Any manic ideas I have now I run past her. The voice of reason, otherwise I would just go off and do whatever and regret it later!

Soap! Why do I have an addiction to soap and electric plug in smellys? I have them plugged in all over the house and the soap, well to be more specific it’s hand soap. We have 3 bathrooms and each has a soap dispenser in it but that’s not enough, oh no, I also have to have 3 full ‘spare’ ones on standby just in case we run out! The same with the bloody Ambi pure 3volution plug in refills! These things aren’t cheap either! It smells like the perfume counter in debenhams most days in here! I suppose obsessions are part of my bipolar and I feel happy and comftable knowing I have them and the spares but it’s a bit mental isn’t it?

I would love to hear if any of you have any ridiculous obsessions like me?

Oh and here’s my joke today –

Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen.
It said “Parking Fine”.
So that was nice.